Category: Christianity

How to ask

caution hearing loss

When to ask, how to ask, and who to ask.  These are all question that flood through my mind when I realize I am not getting what I need at an event or in a situation.  I will be an advocate for my children, and for a cause until the end of time but how do you become an advocate for yourself?  I had made a New Years Resolution that I was going to stand up for myself and make sure I can get what I need.  This post is my public display that I am not holding up my end of the bargain.  

I will tell people I am hard of hearing.  People may ask how much loss do you have, I will tell them I have a moderate severe loss and what that means.  I am open with that information but I don’t say what would make this conversation easier on me.  I have discovered that is incredibly hard in my book.  People hear the words hard of hearing they see hearing aids and they assume all is fixed and you can hear just fine.  WRONG so wrong, I need you to face me, I can’t have a noisy fan or other noise around.  I am not proficient in speech reading or in sign so I have to rely on the residual hearing I have.  

I have had a few instances that have come up recently that I should have spoken up to enjoy the experience to it’s fullest.  I didn’t speak up and ask anything and for that the fault all lies on me and my pride, or fear, or whatever is festering with this issue.  

Last night my daughter and I attended a movie at a little country church that is used for an outreach ministry in our area.  I attend a Bible Study at this church and it is a place of incredible peace for myself.  My daughter and I got to the church and got our popcorn and drink and settled in to watch the movie, Heaven is for Real.  Watching a movie in a candlelit century old church was magical.  It was a beautiful thing watching the movie on a sheet being held by clothespins strung across the front of the church.  What would have made the night better is if I could have heard the dialog.  I maybe heard 10% of the movie.  When I watch tv at home I either use closed captions or I stream the movie through an assistive listening device that goes right to my hearing aids, I love this option, I usually use both.  

surflink media

Did I ask for captions…NO.  Did I come early and ask to hook up the assistive listening device to the movie which would have taken two minutes…NO.  Why, I guess I just don’t want to draw attention to this issue.  I did bring my portable streamer unit.  I tried it but it mainly picked up the fans and I just got an amplified Charlie Brown teachers voice effect for the dialog of the movie.  I had a great time last night seeing friends and neighbors but I just had this kick in the butt feeling why didn’t you say something or stand up for yourself.  

I need help in this area.  I need a shot of confidence that I deserve to understand what is going on the same as everyone else in the vicinity of me.  I came home last night and my husband said to me, “Bet you couldn’t hear the movie tonight.”  No I couldn’t, he keeps telling me nobody cares if you ask, there may be three other people there that missed this line or that and maybe wouldn’t have minded captions.  

I need to learn how to do this at events like this or even a movie theatre.  It is just easier to watch a movie at home and not have to ask.  This is a huge learning curve I have found.  I don’t like to ask for something normally so this is just way out there for me.  I need to shove back my shoulders, hold my head high and get the idea drilled in my head that I deserve it.  

This I guess would be my New Years Resolution part 2 of just ask, stand up for yourself, you are worth it.  

stand up darling

Fun, Faith and Family

The past week has been an experiences of fun, faith and family.  I have decided to do this blog post a little different.  I want to tell the story of this past week through pictures and few words.  I think a central theme is water.

This past Thursday my dear daughter, Greta, decided to be baptized.  Greta was baptized as an infant but she choose to make that decision herself and I couldn’t be prouder.  She is becoming a wonderful young lady and she spoke with pose and intelligence.  A friend of mine took these wonderful photo’s and I am in wonder of Greta’s smile.  It was truly an experience for our whole family.

Greta Baptism water Greta Baptism

The very next day we travelled to my hometown across the state of Minnesota.  I grew up on the St Croix river which has experienced a lot of flooding this past spring.  So many things are under water and parks and homes are flooded.  We took some time this past weekend going to different areas on the river taking pictures and just enjoying our family together, laughing, and taking pleasure in watching all the baby ducks and geese.

flooding HudsonHudson, Wisconsin if you look out beyond the kids you can see the picnic tables and benches.

stillwater bridge bridge closed greta and the stillwater bridge

These pictures were taken in Stillwater, MN.  As you can see the water was quite high and the bridge is closed until this water starts to recede.  I have seen this area flood before but it gives you a whole new outlook on the power of water when you see it.  Driving around I saw childhood friends homes that had water up to their door and I am sure in their homes.  Just a sad site.  I have to laugh at the picture of Chad and the bridge closed sign.  Chad doesn’t want harm to come to anyone but he has a running joke that he calls Stillwater, Snobwater.  The size of the boats on that river I have a hard time dispelling that name except I grew up there and we didn’t even have a rowboat.

flooding beanies

This picture is the Marina and boat landing by my parents house.  This establishment is owned by church friends of ours and horribly flooded.  This is usually parking lot out to the dock you see you in the middle of the picture.  My heart is heavy when this is their business and this is happening to them.  I hope the river starts going down soon.

The rest of the weekend was very special to me.  My grandmother died this past fall and it was her job to keep the family together and get them together for life events.  Saturday afternoon my mom and aunt planned a party at the park, again at the river.  My sister and her family were there and my cousin and his family were there.  It was so nice to visit and see family again.  Family is so important to us all.  They were the first one in our corner when we were small and will be the last ones to be with us at the end.  It was a great picnic where we all made some great memories.  One special memory was at the same park many many years ago,  probably nearing 30 years ago.  At that picnic my grandma and grandpa were both there and we played a softball game.  My grandpa died when I was Greta’s age so yes a nice memory to think of again this weekend.

I hope you are all enjoying your summer and making some memories of your own.  It was a wonderful few days of faith and fellowship of the water of baptism.  It was fun with family taking pictures around the St Croix River.  It was family who we were able to have a meal with and make memories with at the park.

 

 

 

Letter to my Daughter

100E2245My Dearest Daughter-

Today we had your 11th birthday party.  We had so much fun getting this planned and what a wonderful day.  I just had to write down my emotions and feelings of why you hold so much of my heart.  When I first held you honey you made me a mommy on Mother’s Day week.  You have always been a joy in my life for the last 11 years.

You have always been a girl to be on stage.  Since you were a little girl you loved to sing to us all and perform for all of us.  My heart is so happy that you want to sing for God now.  You are just growing up more and more everyday.  With the activities you want to partake in your general attitude of life.  I am glad to call you my daughter.

Today you had all your grandparents around you and they love you more than you can ever comprehend.  Today at your party you are so gracious and so happy with every gift you receive.  I am so happy that you appreciate anything given to you.  There is never a comment that something should have been bigger or better infact your comment today was, “I am spoiled and I am just so excited for every gift I received.”  I love that you would be happy with a paper bag is that is what someone thought to give you.

Today when you were swimming in the pool with your brother you are just so good with him.  I know brothers can be annoying but you are also best friends.  You are so good with your brother.  I know he can be a handful at times but you are his biggest defender.  You would beat someone up in an alley if they said something against your brother.  I love that your love for him is that great.  He has a built in superhero as a sister.  You two have love between each other I could only dream siblings can have.

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My dearest daughter you have given me such joy this past 11 years I can’t wait for the next decade and see what is in store for us and what new adventures we will have.

I love you so much and keep loving the Lord and life.

Love your Mommy.

 

He has Risen

He has RISEN INDEED.  I want to wish all of you a blessed Easter Sunday.  A day we can all remember that our Christ has died for our sins, but overcame death and ROSE AGAIN.

I have wonderful memories of Easter.  I remember dressing up in our finest and living in Minnesota can be a challenge some times if there is still snow on the ground or winter temps.  We always would get up early and search for our Easter baskets that had been hidden with such care.  Then came time for the eggs.  They could be hidden anywhere, the microwave, oven or on top of the TV.  We would walk down the block to the large Lutheran church and have breakfast with our friends and family in the church basement. The one thing I learned is I DON’T like hot cross buns.  They were always served on Easter Morning.  We would then worship together as a family.  Easter afternoon was always special event.  We would go to my grandparents that were about 6-7 blocks south on the same street as we lived on.  Grandma laid out Easter eggs all around the yard and the basement.  One thing you need to know about this grandma she is the height of organization and fairness.  She had a label maker and the kids names were on our eggs and we were to only pick up OUR eggs not our siblings or our cousins.  A large dinner followed and just a wonderful day to be with family.

I want to pass these traditions on to our children.  I worry to many traditions from generations past are getting lost with our children.  This morning my kids woke up at grandma’s at 6am.  They ran downstairs and had to find if the Easter bunny left them any goodies.  We then dressed up just like days of my youth.  Greta had a dress on and Henry wore a suit.  He was so proud and my little prince charming and Greta is a young lady.  Now we all are busy in the kitchen getting the meal ready for Chad’s family to come for a dinner of ham, potatoes, salads and all the trimmings.

I wish you a day of renew.  A day where the sun’s rays can cast down on you.  God is not dead he is surely ALIVE.