Tag: Blizzard

The Blizzard

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We are to be getting a Blizzard of Armageddon proportions today.  You know the type; the media is in a frenzy, the stores are packed and you have your rations of milk, eggs and bread.

I often wonder what are we to do with this milk, eggs and bread.  Is the staple meal with a blizzard, french toast.  Why wouldn’t we just have our normal groceries in the house and just eat our normal menu.  I am very glad in times like this I am a caner.  I can open a jar of soup, or meat to make a meal.  Very handy to have in situations like this.

So there is this hype and frenzy in the air with a storm.  Mind you not one flake has fallen yet but a big percentage of the schools in the state have already closed.  A major metro school district, St Paul, is closing at noon.  That floors me- these predictions better be good.  We are still in school but the school closings are getting closer and closer to us.  We are now seeing schools within a 30 mile radius are closing.

I don’t know what to think.  An old fashion big ol’ blizzard would be fun.  Watching the snow get higher and higher is exciting to watch.  No one has to leave tomorrow so we would be safe.  We have our bread, milk and eggs.  Then there is this practical adult part of my brain that is saying NO we don’t want this.  Our cars will be covered in snow.  Then we have to shovel this snow.  As soon as I am done shoveling the plow goes by and makes a wall that is waist deep that we now have to shovel through.

So we wait, and we wait.  The electricity in the air of anticipation is almost to much.  Technology is such that we can text friends and family far and near, “Is it doing anything by you yet.”  Yes that childlike part in my soul is ready for a big Minnesota Blizzard.

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I Need To Keep My Head Up

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This past month I have felt like this a lot.  I have felt like I am drowning.  Yes I try to be the optimist, the glass is half full type of girl.  I just can’t keep that up all the time.  I can’t keep the smile on my face that everything is fine and everything is great.  I am the glue that tries to keep it all together in my family but lately I am having a hard time doing this.

I finally confided in my husband and told him that I am really having a hard time keeping it all together lately.  I feel like I am drowning and I am sick of keeping the smile on my face when I miss half a conversation and have no idea what someone said to me when they walk up to me at school or church.  I am sick of working so hard to understand all that is being said.  I am just sick and tired of life being hard.

Everyone has troubles in their lives and I try not to ever be a person that says well my troubles are worse than your troubles.  I hate when someone says, “At least it is not cancer.”  Yes I am glad of that also but guess what hearing loss, a son on the autism spectrum, anxiety, and so on isn’t that great either.  Everyone has trials in their lives, let them grieve and work through their trials.  Don’t discount it that a problem isn’t big enough, in their life it is a mountain.

My husbands employer has this new health insurance hoops you have to jump through.  We have to do an online health assessment and then talk to a health advisor.  I am fine with this until they talked to me about the stress and anxiety aspect.  1st off they knew of the hearing loss since that was one of the questions I had to answer.  They asked why I have stress.  I told them I walk into a building and I always feel off guard at first if I will understand people talking to me and understand what is being said there.  Their answer was deep breathing and I just need to believe and tell myself that everything is good and I can hear it all.  REALLY- I was hoping for some relaxation techniques.  I informed them I can’t make the hearing loss go away so in reality I am not going to hear it all.  They came back with I can tell myself I hear fine and that will take care of the stress.  Wow I didn’t know how to respond.  If this is what the insurance companies are going to tell us we can will all our troubles and our worlds troubles away.

I work at the school as a substitute teacher.  It seems to be getting harder and harder in some ways.  I like certain classrooms a lot, I like the high school.  I know I can hear decent in them and I know I won’t run into problems.  But the hallways, lunchroom, and the elementary school I just want to run away.  I feel like the air is being squeezed out of me.  I hate it and there is no way I can hear anything.  The elementary school is like a horror movie for me.  Little voices and always a sea of background noise I just cringe going in there.  This past week I was to work at the elementary school Monday and Tuesday.  I felt sick all weekend even thinking about these two days.  I don’t know what my negative feelings did but we ended up getting an early November snowstorm, we received over a foot of snow.  SNOW DAY on Monday and two hours late on Tuesday.  My prayers were answered!!! I hate that I dread going to work or certain places.  I hate that I have this sense of failure of events coming up.

I just need to get over these feelings.  I will, I am not worried about it.  I will learn some new coping techniques.  I am trying to learn speech reading which I really believe will be a huge asset to me.  I need to reach out to the friends that I know will be there when there is a bad day and understand.  I need to speak up, I need to say what I need instead of saying sorry like I was a problem.

It is going to be a long winter I am afraid.  This will be my winter to learn new things.  Maybe just maybe when spring comes again I will have some new skills and instead of this drowning feeling I am having I will be having a sense of renewal, just like my tulips coming up to see the sun.

Thoughts from a mom on a Snow Day

Today started out with a 2 hour late start for school that soon changed to closed.  When you have a day planned and two hyper kids who are on the verge of killing each other it just crushes you.  Yes I love my kids and I would hate for them to go outside in the blizzard we are having but when your day gets turned upside down it just changes your mood.

I had a meeting scheduled today with the State office of Deaf and Hard of Hearing.  I was hoping to get some questions answered and find out where some of the resources are located in our part of the state.  I read about all these classes and other things I would be interested in and they are 3 hours away from us.  Not very practical.  Would be nice to know what our region of the state has.  When I found out school was cancelled it was NOOOO I don’t want to do this meeting with kids there.  Meeting got cancelled hopefully will be rescheduled soon. A little relieved- didn’t want to do this with the children.

I was going to clean my floors this morning but instead I have blankets down on the floor and it is either a TaeKwonDo sparring match, or a WWW match, or cage fighting or some variation of this.  The kids are determined to harm one another today.  It must be the change in the weather.  The wind is sounding like a freight train and it is doing odd things to the children’s brains.  They are wild!!!!!

I made some soup for dinner and cleaned a few things up today but I am thinking I am done for today.  I need to act as referee today and maybe a quiet movie later will be the magic pill.

The kids and I have been practicing our ASL.  So now the kids are using the signs they know to insult each other.  I tell you the day is one long fight fest.  Henry’s big way to bug Greta now is to sign “Beautiful Henry” and then “Boring Greta”  Greta then does some insults back to him and it goes and goes until one starts crying or tattles.  At least they are learning ASL even if it is for taunting.  That is good right?

Well good luck for anyone who is stuck in a blizzard.  I hope my husband makes his 1 mile drive home ok tonight.  I think we will all be staying home tonight. Now to go keep the peace and let my daughter know that she is “Beautiful Greta.”  Maybe we should look up some uplifting signs today.

Have a good day everyone.