Tag: employment

Life is Busy and Hard

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end-of-a-chapter

Last night was the end of a chapter in my life.  In July of last year I was hired to work at a radio station.  I really enjoyed the job, in fact I enjoyed each part of my job except the logistics.  I worked overnights, on weekends, in a town that is a 40 minute away, and the pay wasn’t the greatest.  I pushed through and went to work but I felt myself falling and I could feel my emotional being crumbling.

I am working at the school still as a substitute teacher.  I also am back working as a PCA (personal care attendant).  This takes 5 days a week and then the radio station was Friday-Sunday so no days off.  Being married, 2 active children this was just a recipe for disaster.  I put my chin up and did it for almost the whole school year but I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I was in tears just thinking of being up all night and doing weekends with zero sleep.  Last night was my last shift at the radio.

It is a bittersweet feeling.  It is one of relief that I can sleep, I can be with my family on the weekends.  I can attend scouting and 4H events again that are always on weekends.  It is a deep feeling of peace for my family.  In the same breath it is one of failure.  I have never quit a job unless it was for moving or changing life directions like going to college or graduating from college.  I have never been one that just quit a job because it wasn’t fun anymore.  Lord knows I have had a few of those but I stuck with it.  Even telemarketing in college.  I hated it with every bone in my body but it was a short term job and I knew once I started I finished.  I don’t quit.  I think that is the strong German blood that flows through my veins.  It is one for dedication and hard work.  So I learned in this process of quitting that I had to weigh the two. Do I do my duty and stay with a job? Do I look at my mental well being and my families togetherness?  As my wise momma told me, “You will never get this time back with your kids.  If you feel like your absent now it will only grow more and more and you can’t do anything about it.”  I choose to do something and gave my notice a month ago.

Will I miss the radio, you betcha.  I really enjoyed my co-workers and having people comment, “I heard you on the radio last night.”  I will continue to listen to the stations I worked on and have great pride I was once part of that.  For me now, I will welcome sleep at night and enjoy our time together.

A Job

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Never Give Up

Today I have a feeling in my soul that hasn’t been there for a long time, contentment.  I have struggled with a hole in my soul that I wanted to fill with work.  I want to work and help support our family.  

I have worked since I was a little girl.  I had a daily paper route that was a 5 day a week afternoon paper.  That was my first work experience and it taught me hard work, determination and discipline.  I babysat a ton then moved to waitressing all through high school.  In college I always took a full class load but always worked at least 30 hours a week also.  Work was important to me, it always has been.  

When I moved from the Twin Cities to the small town in Rural Minnesota I left my full time job of 10 years.  This was hard but also a good time to reconnect to my husband, my small daughter and we then had our son.  I have done little jobs here in town.  I worked at a local floral shop, a cashier at the grocery store and my main job as a substitute teacher.  Both kids are in school all day I need more, my soul needed more, my family could use more.  I have tried so hard this past year to find another job.  A job that I could count on hours and also feel I can make some sort of difference not just keep the peace in a classroom for a day.  I interviewed for a few jobs in town…NO.  I applied and interviewed for so many jobs at school….NO.  I needed to change the direction I was going.  What to do, I know I have certain limitations with my hearing.  Answering phones all day would not be a good fit for me.  Numerous people talking all around me also not a good fit.  

This weekend is my first hours working as a PCA, personal care attendant.  I am excited, happy and at peace.  I am earning money, I am helping a fellow human being, my needs are being met by being a productive citizen.  I believe this will be a good fit.  I know where I will be working and when I will be working.  I love the stability, I love knowing a paycheck will be coming.  I won’t be rich but my soul is feeling alive.  

Selective Hearing

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Image

I thought we would all appreciate a little humor in our lives at time to time.  I need to share this little funny experience our family had lately.  My family contains myself, the mom, I have moderate hearing loss and try to keep our household in order.  My husband is a welder that has worked in an industrial setting for more than 20 years.  I have a soon 11 year old daughter that loves to roll her eyes at her mom.  Last but not least a 5 year old son that has a mild hearing loss.

My husband’s employer tests everyones hearing once a year.  A big semi comes to the plant and parks outside and you are assigned a time to go in the booth.  Well this past year my husbands hearing seemed to drop way down.  I was shocked and so was he.  We kept looking to see what last year and this years audiogram and I couldn’t believe the drop.  I didn’t think he seemed to have a hearing loss.  Maybe I am not the best judge but he doesn’t ask for things to be repeated too often.  He has the tv volume much lower than I do.  So we had to wait till he could get into the doctor and they do a more comprehensive test.

I had  a lot of worry over that time period.  I am wondering would he need hearing aids.  How are we going to afford this.  They are not cheap at all and just forked out money for this item.  I was thinking of my son who we were doing his new IEP at the time and we were putting in things like using the FM system and sitting in a certain part of the room.  My mind was on overdrive and this just seemed to pull me over.

Well the day came and my husband had to go in.  He came home with a huge smile on his face and this is what they found…..He had fallen asleep in his first test.  Can you believe that, he fell asleep.  He just says well I went to work at 4:30am I was tired and that booth in the truck was so quiet and warm, and a nice chair.  He fell asleep, his hearing is fine.  I just had to laugh.  Sometimes that is all you can do is shake your head and laugh.