This has been a trying season in my life.  I strive to keep it all together but you can’t always have that brave face all the time.  Yesterday I broke, I let that one tear drop out which burst the dam of emotions open and the tear turned into sobs.  I had applied for a job and had the interview.  I felt it went really well I found out I didn’t get the position.  I wanted this job, I was well qualified and I had experience with every part of the job but it wasn’t meant to be.  That doesn’t make it any easier.

This spring my husband was laid off from his job along with the entire plant he worked at.  We were hoping for maybe a month.  Well it will be 3 months.  The date to go back has been pushed back a couple times, it is hard to not have your head leap to scenarios of what if or will the work last?  We are surviving and trying to have some fun this summer but it is hard to not have the feelings and emotions and thoughts of all that is going on.  The beginning of the layoff wasn’t so bad.  I am a sub at the school and I worked everyday of that month.  Summer hit and I am out of work.  I really enjoy working at the school, this past year was the best ever.  Problem is there is no pay till fall and since our district pays a month later and once a month my next paycheck will be October 20th.  I need something for my family and for my piece of mind now.

I am pushing 40 what do I do for a job.  Do I look for a job or a career.  There are a few things I would love to do and try to get into them.  I would love to get into some career that deals with deaf and hard of hearing.  I have tried to apply a few times to a hearing aid distributer.  That is not an easy business to get into.  They want someone that is already licensed but how do you get licensed if you aren’t in an office or an apprentice.  If anyone out there knows how to break into this please let me know.  I took a few audiology classes in college (communicative disorders major) and being a hearing aid wear and consumer I feel I would be good at this position.

I enjoy people all types of people.  I would love a job where I could help people that maybe need some help, maybe life hasn’t dealt them a good hand, or they need a helping hand to achieve their goals.  I would love a position that would incorporate these things.

I will get over disappointment and I will get over being sad.  I will pull up my bootstraps and keep going.  I won’t give up even though I want to crawl under the covers and escape but I will go back on my computer and send out those resumes.  I will do what I can for my family and for me.