Tag: Valentines Day

Finding Love


Valentine’s Day is here. I am not a girl that gets flowers, or gifts. I am not upset about this, just our relationship. In fact I told my husband I was going to have some balloons delivered to his workplace today. He told me tomorrow divorce papers would be delivered to me. He is just not a guy of public displays of affection, but always has a kiss or an I love you for me. I love my husband and I thought this Valentine’s Day would be a good time to tell how we met. 

Many many years ago I was working for the State of Minnesota. During that time in order to get a promotion or another job you had to take a written test and be put on a list. I was taking a test on a Saturday morning in St Paul. On the way out I grabbed a Meeting People magazine. I should back up a tad. I had just gotten back from a semester of school down in New Mexico. During my time there I found myself a little more, I tried to break out of the very hard shell of insecurity I had around me. During my time away I broke up with my boyfriend that had become very controlling. I realized I was worth more. 

A week or so before this fated Saturday my mom had made the comment, “you should let me pick your husband.” Well that was the craziest thing I had ever heard. But in saying and thinking that why couldn’t a parent know what is good for their child. Would they want their child to be unhappy or in a bad marriage? Still I didn’t like the idea of this at all. Now we are back to the Saturday and the Meeting People magazine. I got home and threw the magazine at my mom as a joke. Asking her to pick my husband, in a very sarcastic tone. 

Few days had past and the magazine was given back to me with dog eared pages and circles drawn. I thought are you kidding me she actually went though this thing. I was really in shock. I expected this had been thrown away. 

I went downstairs and decided to read the ads mom had circled. There was one ad that stood out to me. One that seemed to call to me. I did the unthinkable.  I wrote a letter. I told of me, of our new puppy, school and my major. I sent this letter off with no mention to ANYONE. 

A few weeks passed and my family got another new piece of technology, caller ID. A Chad Lundquist kept calling our house but we were never home. Messages were never left. This was about driving my father nuts. Who is this Chad and what does he want. Finally one night he called and I was home. He was the placer of the ad. We talked on the phone that night almost 2 hours. There was an immediate connection over the phone. I had to go upstairs and tell my parents who I was on the phone with. They were shocked and even more shocked I had answered an ad. 

We talked a bunch of times on the phone. Finally we met and had dinner, a drink and a movie. Worst movie ever but it was fun. We doubled dated with a friend and her boyfriend for the movie. Wow that would have been 1998. Seems like so long ago but at the same time last week. 

I loved dating Chad. We had so much fun. What I love is I could open up to Chad. I could tell him anything. The dark secrets you hold inside were easy to tell him. From our first meeting to our wedding was two years. Lots of has happened to us. Lots of stuff that probably would have caused couples to split. I love Chad he is my Valentine. 

He surprises me still. A couple nights ago we were driving home and he grabbed my hand and said he was proud of me. It took me off guard. He explained he was proud of me and the volunteer jobs I hold. He is proud of me for putting myself out there. That comment while holding my hand is exactly the kind of Valentine’s gifts I need. He is my Valentine. 

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Valentines Week

It is fast approaching the day where we will all see pink and red hearts painted across the sky.  Well maybe that is a little dramatic but it seems like it.  I don’t know why but I have never been the lover of this day on the 14th of February.  I think I did as a child making a card box and having our party and passing out the little valentines to each of our classmates was fun but as I grew older the excitement fizzled.  Now I have loves of my life.  I love my husband and I adore my children but I think I can say and express I love you everyday with them.  I don’t need a special day to show them I love them. 

I have a fond memory of Valentines day when in college.  I was away to college in New Mexico and a couple friends and I decided to take a day and make homemade cards for our families and loved ones.  That was so fun we made hearts and took paper lace and made stacks of cards.  This is what the day should be to us every year in my opinion.  A want to show love and affection, not a deadline to get your card and buy buy buy and get caught up in the consumerism of the world.  I made cards for whom I loved.  Maybe my dislike started during the 10 years I worked at a prison.  Do you know how much mail can come through a maximum security prison at Valentines day….LOTS.  The girlfriends send those big cards, you know the ones that are as large a a child.  Then they proceed to pour an entire bottle of perfume on the card and send it in with the pictures no one should be taking to their man.  I am sorry that again wrong meaning of Valentines day. 

My husband and I already told each other that we love each other and there will be no gift buying this year.  With a totaled car last week and some health challenges in the last year we have expressed we are here for the other person and will continue to be there for them.  Our children yes- I will probably get them some candy and a card.  It is fun for them on this day but I hope they know everyday I am proud of them and love them to the moon and back. 

So we still need to make a valentine box for our son to take to school.  He wants one to look like a welder.  We need to get the cards and have him write his name on them.  That will be enough tears to last me a month, he is already whining about writing his name.  My daughter is just having a movie party without the cards.  It just cuts down on the drama in the class, I can see that. 

So Happy Valentines Week to you all.  I hope you have a wonderful day that you can tell people you love that you love and appreciate all they do in your life.  I will continue to kiss my kids goodnight and when I take my kids to school I always tell Greta I love her and Henry and I do the ASL sign for I love you to each other.  It is just our thing. 

Those that don’t have that significant other make sure you tell a co-worker, a parent, a friend or the cashier at the coffee shop that you thank them for being special in your life.  That is what the day means to me, a reminder that we are loved and we are called to love each other.