Do you ever have a day when the world seems so very heavy and you don’t know if your shoulders can bare the weight of all of it anymore. I am not typically a person that freaks out, or cries or wallows in pities of life. I know of people that beat themselves up almost daily for decisions they have made and how they carry out their daily lives. I have faults and have many mistakes but I try to move on.
Yesterday I don’t know what happened. I stepped away from the craziness of two kids playing the Hunger Games and just spent sometime by myself in my room. I played some music and all of a sudden I felt a feeling come over me that made the tears flow. I always try to be the person that holds it all together. To be the person that finds the bright side to every dark situation. I may not always believe in the bright side but I need to bring that out for the others involved. Yesterday life just hit me and I cried. I cried and cried and it felt good. It was a release of all these pent up emotions. There was nothing horrible I was harboring, but it is just the stresses and reality of everyday life. There were issues in my childrens lives that I thought of, there were issues in my husbands life that came to front, there were issues in my own life that all seemed to hit me.
It is odd how little things can do this to you. How seeing something, or listening to something can bring up such emotions. It was just a cummultive effect for me. I received some information in the mail, information that was very useful to me but seeing it just brought reality to life. Then hearing the lyrics of a song it allowed the floodgates to be opened. I remember being a little girl and something would happen and I wouldn’t cry. I wanted to be the strong one, the one that stood fast and had the brave face. I can remember my dad coming into my room and explaining to me that crying frees the soul. That a good cry is actually good for you and can get rid of toxins and other things that you are keeping in. That usually did it then the tears would come.
I believe in prayer. I believe in Gods love for us and that we can always go to him in our time of need but also remember to go to him in our good times also. I try to pray and be a good pray warrior. I pray for others around me and I pray for my family and myself. I believe that like this quote says above that the things that are going on in my life and in my families lives are being done for a greater purpose. Things happen for a reason, these things we can learn from, we can grow from and we can change ourselves and others around us with the knowledge we have gained. God has a purpose for us. He is shaping us into the person we are to become. It may be putting a burden on our heart for service, or a group of people that need a voice. I pray I see this purpose and I may be put to work for the greater good of others.
I had my good cry and from that I will work and pray to see what the greater purpose is and where I am needed.