I like order, and I like things planned out whether it is on paper or in my head. This summer was spent trying to figure out this next year of my life. What would I do for a job, I longed for a change. To make a difference in someones life not a sub that floats in and out each day different. I tried for other jobs and nothing seemed to work out. I finally took a job and I was excited for it. The job ended last week after I quit. I was not disclosed some pretty important information and for that reason I quit. I felt upset, scared and betrayed. I had this year planned out in my head and now it is all gone. I took the week and thought pretty long and hard of what happened and I believe I can just say PLOT TWIST and move on. Life didn’t go how it was all planned out in my head. God is the only one that can know our future and he knew this turn was going to take place.
I went back to subbing last week and spent two days at the school. It felt great catching up with the kids and hearing what they had done for their summer vacations. It was nice to see staff and say our hello’s. It wasn’t how I was expecting to spend those days but it was familiar and comfortable. I still don’t want to be a sub forever. I need more of a purpose a beginning and end of what I am doing to know that I made a difference on someones life.
Chad, my husband, said to me this weekend “Sara you are pushing 40 it is about time to figure out what you want to do with your life.” That is so true. I went to school, then graduated college, obtained a full time job. Never something I loved but it was an income my desires were to be a wife and a mother. I was successful on that front and that is what matters most in my life. I feel this pull now, I am in my research phase now of different career choices. I get a little nuts when I find a topic I enjoy. I will stay up till the wee hours of the morning, reading, and making notes. I am starting to put some feelers out will be doing some work on some different ideas in the next couple weeks. Maybe it is not in the stars for this path to open up but we will just have to see what happens in my life.
Remember when something happens that you weren’t expecting just yell Plot Twist and move on. I have done that with moving, having a child diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum, hearing loss, and jobs. Life takes twists and turns you never expect. Yell Plot Twist or you will dwell in these turns that you will never see the beautiful clearings that you are about to come to: Living in the beautiful prairie, having a son that has taught me to look at the world a little different, meeting friends and learning so much in this past year, being back at the school that is familiar and I am needed.
Life just isn’t a straight line it is like a river that meanders and the slow curves that the water has carved in the banks.