Tag: family

Life is Busy and Hard

end-of-a-chapter

Last night was the end of a chapter in my life.  In July of last year I was hired to work at a radio station.  I really enjoyed the job, in fact I enjoyed each part of my job except the logistics.  I worked overnights, on weekends, in a town that is a 40 minute away, and the pay wasn’t the greatest.  I pushed through and went to work but I felt myself falling and I could feel my emotional being crumbling.

I am working at the school still as a substitute teacher.  I also am back working as a PCA (personal care attendant).  This takes 5 days a week and then the radio station was Friday-Sunday so no days off.  Being married, 2 active children this was just a recipe for disaster.  I put my chin up and did it for almost the whole school year but I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I was in tears just thinking of being up all night and doing weekends with zero sleep.  Last night was my last shift at the radio.

It is a bittersweet feeling.  It is one of relief that I can sleep, I can be with my family on the weekends.  I can attend scouting and 4H events again that are always on weekends.  It is a deep feeling of peace for my family.  In the same breath it is one of failure.  I have never quit a job unless it was for moving or changing life directions like going to college or graduating from college.  I have never been one that just quit a job because it wasn’t fun anymore.  Lord knows I have had a few of those but I stuck with it.  Even telemarketing in college.  I hated it with every bone in my body but it was a short term job and I knew once I started I finished.  I don’t quit.  I think that is the strong German blood that flows through my veins.  It is one for dedication and hard work.  So I learned in this process of quitting that I had to weigh the two. Do I do my duty and stay with a job? Do I look at my mental well being and my families togetherness?  As my wise momma told me, “You will never get this time back with your kids.  If you feel like your absent now it will only grow more and more and you can’t do anything about it.”  I choose to do something and gave my notice a month ago.

Will I miss the radio, you betcha.  I really enjoyed my co-workers and having people comment, “I heard you on the radio last night.”  I will continue to listen to the stations I worked on and have great pride I was once part of that.  For me now, I will welcome sleep at night and enjoy our time together.

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Jars

   I have such fond memories of washing jars in my grandma’s kitchen. She and my mother taught me to can. They gave me the love of a jar. The love of a full fruit room which is what grandma had. We made applesauce and … Continue reading Jars

Summer Life

Summer is busy, and summer seems to just get away from us. Day to day chores and obligations mixed in with family fun is what summer is all about. I can’t believe that a month is left. A mere month. I also can’t believe all we have fit in the summer. Family vacation, day trips, a trip to the zoo and relaxing at the pool. This was such an uncertain summer. I had many hours of lost sleep over this summer. A husband laid off and me who had a job only during the school year how was this to work, but it did. We had a great time. We traveled and laughed and played games and the list goes on and on. God will provide was made known to me this past year. Our needs were met. The summer isn’t over. We still have a son’s birthday and a family reunion, county fairs and the list goes on and on. We trusted and we survived and we rose even higher than we ever expected. Our family is blessed with wonderful family and friends that assured us all would be fine. 

A few pictures of family fun

   
    
    
    
    
    
    
 

Oh to Cook…it sounds so simple

We rent a small house in a small town.  I am a mom that works as many days as she can but overall I am a mom.  What do mom’s do.  They kiss boo boo’s, they wash clothes and pack school bags and COOK.

Early in the month my oven quit on my stove.  I really don’t blame the oven it was the digital display that went out.  Without those magical push buttons there was no way to turn on the oven.  How stupid, why does a simple button need to control all.  Is old fashioned knobs to good for a stove now days.  Stove worked oven sat cold.

We waited a few weeks and got a call that our landlord found another stove and was bringing it in.  I was so excited, it was a used stove but heck I didn’t care.  It was a very nice looking stove but once it got out of the freezing temps of a storage unit, the freezing temps of the back of a truck and into our 68 degree home we discovered there was something terribly wrong.  The stove had such a horrible smell that it burned our eyes and lungs.  It was awful.  Something had to have gotten into the insulation of the stove and it was ruined.  No matter how nice it looked didn’t make up for how bad it smelled.  It was like the worst 24 hours of my life.  The house smelled so bad we couldn’t be in it and I had no way to cook for my family.  It is like a basic instinct a mother has.  To make a meal for her family.  Oh I hate the question, “What are we eating tonight.”  but I feel it is my job, a job I take joy and pleasure in.  It was only 24 hours but it felt like I had failed.  I had a full on anxiety attack the next morning.  There was a smell in the house and I couldn’t even boil a pot of water.  When I called my mom I told her my whoes and then I couldn’t even boil a pot of water.  She has a way to put things into perspective.  One- Why do I need to boil a pot of water at 8am.  Two- this will pass and a new stove will be there shortly.  That afternoon the stinky stove was taken out of the house and the spot sat empty where my cooking vessel should be.

Our landlord was looking all over for a good condition stove.  Saturday I had the idea of going to the Habitat for Humanity ReStore.  What a treasure trove of items.  I found my stove!!!!  Looking at it I knew I needed this stove.  It was odd I walked around the store and had to keep walking back to this stove.  Called my landlord up and said cancel getting a stove by tomorrow I found one.  This is an old stove it has a vintage look that I love.  There is chrome on the corners.  A green sea glass color on the oven glass window and behind the knob controls.  Yes knobs no digital display to go out on me there.

My heart is happy.  I can provide food for my family and friends.  We weren’t home an hour with the new stove and cookies were baked.  Last night a meatloaf and green bean casserole (were in Minnesota don’t ya know).  Today was a pan of brownies and an egg bake for dinner.  I am sure supper will go back to a chore but for now I am loving it.

My role is fulfilled as a mom.  I am sure many would disagree but it makes me feel like there is a purpose, I know my role and I can excel at it.